Spill the tea!

As Christmas is coming up I thought we could talk about it…... but not in the traditional way (sorry no cheap DIY presents for your aunt this time). I want to talk about something that most probably will show up at your dinner table: gossiping!

We all know that we shouldn’t talk about people behind their backs, but sometimes, sometimes we just can’t help ourselves. Whether we’re among family, at work or with friends, what’s really behind these shameful, but oh-so-enjoyable little betrayals?

“Your life may be more glamorous than mine, but I’m not alcoholic,” you might think as you scan through an article about Britney Spears. Humans have a powerful drive to know about other people's lives and burn with desire to knock a few off their pedestals. A few spiteful words shared in confidence can give us such a boost. With friends, colleagues or family, saying bad things about other people feels good. Gossip builds social bonds because shared dislikes create strong bonds. Two people who don’t know each other will feel closer if they share something mean about a third person than if they say nice things about them. It’s a way of demonstrating their shared values and sense of humour. In addition to that, there is the thrill of transgression, since we’re supposed to be nice and positive.

Some even say that, at least in the workplace, gossip has a useful purpose. Northeastern University professor Dr. Jack Levin, author of Gossip: The Inside Scoop, says it can actually be good for our emotional health. (He makes an exception for the weapons-grade rumor-mongering that destroys reputations.) In general, he believes gossip is a force that ties together social and business networks. Gossip is also a disguised and sneaky way of comparing yourself to others. Social psychologist Laurent Bègue adds that ‘About 60% of conversations between adults are about someone who isn’t present, and most of these lean towards passing judgement.’ Also ‘We gossip to share our worries, seeking reassurance and support,’ says psychiatrist Frédéric Fanget.

To conclude, I’d like to clarify that the idea behind this article is not to encourage gossiping (even though I’m the first in line for a good gossip – please pass the popcorn!) but to show you that it is pretty normal and that you cannot escape it. Though we might (and should) be ashamed of it, we were clearly designed to lap it all up. To finish off here are some memes to make your day!

Xoxo, Amélie