The importance of being who you really want to be

Sometimes, we feel like we should not be who we exactly think we are. We often don’t realise what it implies for us.

Why do we want to act differently?

I am not saying that change is not good. I think it is really important, but we should be aware of our changes.

When we were young and innocent kids, we didn’t use to care about what people thought of us. But as we grew up, we changed our behaviour and tried to become someone else: more mature, more polite, more attractive...

I think that the first thing that makes us change (even though it’s a bit of cliché) is society. What we see on TV, advertising, what we listen to on the radio... when we were young, those icons were for the most part our models. And even though it is changing, they are all full of clichés: the bad boy, the caring little girl, all dressed in black and white clothes,...

This influences us a lot, and often puts ideas on our minds without us even noticing it.

Moreover, as we get older, society brings us a very useful way to normalise ourselves: social networks! All of the lifestyles and styles we see are also referring to models we have, and make us want to look like those happy and perfect people.

The tastes we have change depending on our age, and on the context: you’ve probably noticed that we all act differently depending on who we are with.

We speak, emphasise and behave differently when we are with our parents and the headmaster for example.

It shows a capacity to understand politeness, and this is good. But sometimes, we need to be aware of what we change. For example, if we change our hobbies depending on our friends, then there might be a little problem.

To be honest, all of us have been through a phase where we tried to find our “true” personality. It is not bad, or problematic. It is a problem if we do not realise it/we do not stop trying to change for years.

So. We change for many different reasons: our social environment, the models we see, our familial context and also the historical one. Those changes aren’t bad, as long as we are fully conscious of them, and as long as we are not an absolute chameleon.

How can we change that?

Well, there are actually many ways.

The first step is to realise the scale on which you change: is it a lot? Not much? Depends?

Then, the best way may be to understand why you want to change your behaviour and what affects you the most: is it TV, social networks, or the radio? Then, try to understand that

1) what you see is not the complete truth and just a part of somebody’s life,

2) instead of wanting to be like them, try to make them inspire you and

3) you are yourself, and being a copy will not help you or anyone.

It is important to remember that being yourself may not always be easy, because we all have our flaws, but being somebody else will NOT get rid of those.

Finally I’d say: changes are not always bad, as long as you realise what it means for you. I hope this article will help you to be yourself and understand that you are worth it!

Love always

Marion